Mizz-Vamp-Hikari!
by Mizz-Vamp-Hikari
Summary: A talk show-like story featuring your fav. mutants. Co-Authored between Vampyre, HIKARI 2002, and MizzMarvel. *Chpt 4 up!* Vamp up!
1. Vamp and Scott

Disclaimer: I don't own ANYTHING! So you can't sue me.  
  
A/N: There is no 'Jason', it was the only name I could think of..  
  
  
  
Mizz, Vamp, and Hikari present,  
  
Mizz, Vamp, and Hikari!  
  
From Bayville, the X-Men! Today: Vampyre interviews Scott Summers  
  
Vampyre: Today let's meet Scott Summers, also known as Cyclops , who has a secret to tell his girlfriend Jean Grey.  
  
Audience: BOOOOO!!!!  
  
Vampyre: So Scott, what's the secret?  
  
Scott: Well, Jean and I have been dating for a while now,...  
  
Vampyre: I didn't *ask* that. What's the secret?  
  
Scott: Well, I've been dating her sister's father-in-law's brother.  
  
Audience: ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!  
  
Vampyre: So let's bring out Jean and her dad, shall we?  
  
Jean: You *beep* son of a *beep*! I'll *beep* kill you! *beeeeeeeeeeeep*!  
  
Scott: Jean, are you upset?  
  
Jean: AAAAAAAAAAAAA*beep*AAAAHHHHH!!!  
  
Scott: I take that as a maybe.  
  
Vampyre: So tell us Jean, when did you notice things were not going so well?  
  
Jean: When he *beep* screamed out a guy's name, that's what!  
  
Vampyre: Alriiiiiiiiiigh then, let's bring out Jason!  
  
Audience: QUEER! QUEER! QUEER!  
  
Vampyre: So why are you doing this?  
  
Jason: Doing what? That freak's been following me around for weeks trying to *beep* me. I finally agreed so he would quit.  
  
Vampyre: Is this true, Scott?  
  
Scott: NO!  
  
Jean: Who cares, come here! * hugs Scott*  
  
Vampyre: Awww, so sweet it's disgusting.  
  
I think we all learned something today, and that's that you need a good audience in times like these to shout out obscenities to the freaks we have on stage.  
  
Next time on Mizz, Vamp, and Hikari,  
  
IT's time for Hikari's interview! You have been warned ^_^ 


	2. HIKARI and Evan-Rogue

Mizz, Vamp and Hikari (who do not own X-Men: Evo) Present:  
  
The Mizz, Vamp and Hikari Show!  
  
Evan: DID TOO!  
  
Rogue: DID NOT!  
  
Evan: DID TOOOO-  
  
Hikari: Ahem. Pardon moi, ladies and gentlemen-  
  
Rogue: DID NOT!!!!  
  
Hikari: DID TOO!  
  
Evan: DID NOT!!  
  
Rogue: DID TOO!!  
  
Hikari: Umm... I am like-  
  
Evan: DID NOT!!  
  
Hikari: OH SHUT THE *beep* UP! Now, here... Kitty Pryde!  
  
Kitty: DID TOO!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hikari: *faints*  
  
Audience: DID NOT!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hikari: *wakes up* Okay, so what are we here for again? Right, Daniel wrote this-  
  
Vampyre: *tiptoes toward Hikari* umm... Hikari, it's Evan.  
  
Evan: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *beep* YOU!!!!!!!  
  
Hikari: uh-oh *ducks from rotten tomatoes* um, dude, EEWWWW!!  
  
Evan: GET MY NAME RIGHT YOU *beep*!  
  
Hikari: Right. So, umm... Daniel-  
  
Evan: IT'S EVAN YOU HOLY *beep*!  
  
Hikari: I GET IT YOU JACK@$$!!! Now, mind singing us the song you wrote for Rogue?  
  
Evan: Sure, why not? After all, it makes sense and its one hundred percent true. My song, dedicated to-  
  
Rogue: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Evan: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!  
  
Kitty: *sobs* Evan, I thought you wrote it for me...  
  
Evan: YOU? WHY THE *beep* WOULD I EVER DO THAT TO A *beep* LIKE YOU?  
  
Kitty: A *beep* LIKE ME??? WAIT TIL YOU HEAR IT FROM LANCE!!  
  
Hikari: Ladies and gentlemen... Lance Alvers!!  
  
Lance: YOU *beep* *beep*, NEVER EVER CALL MY PRETTY KITTY A *beep* *beep*!!  
  
Evan: *sobs* Sorry...  
  
Lance: NOW THAT'S BETTER!!!!!!! YOU *beep*!  
  
Hikari: Okay, umm... how about a lil' song from you, Dan-  
  
Evan: *sobs even louder* WAAAAAAA!!! I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!!!  
  
Rogue: SHUT THE *beep* UP YOU *beep*!!!  
  
Evan: WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!  
  
Rogue: *gulp* umm... ARGHHHHHHH!!  
  
Evan: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! Rogue: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY LONGER!!!  
  
Hikari: What is it?  
  
Rogue: IT'S TRUE!!! IT'S ALL TRUE!!!!!  
  
Evan: WAAA- what? really?  
  
Rogue: Yes. *blushes*  
  
Evan: Alright, baby!!  
  
Rogue: *rolls eyes*  
  
Hikari: So, can we hear your song now?  
  
Evan: DEFINITELY! *sings with a non-rythmytic, idiotic voice* OH OH OH WOAHHH... DARLIN' DARLIN' I WOOOOOAHHHH... I SAW YAAAHHH!! WAH, WAH, WAH, BEE BEE BEE BEE... WHOAHHHH!!! I SAW YAAAAHHH!!! YESTERDAY AT NIGHT... YOU---U-U-U-U-U MADE ME STARE CLEARLY AT YOUR BOOBS!!! THEY LOOKED SOOOO-WHOA-WHOA FINE. I-I-I HIT MY HEAD ON A PINE! AND THEN I SAW YOU!!!! ONCE AGAIN, YOUR BOOBS LOOKED SO-WHOA-WHOA FINE!! BUT I HAD MY HEAD ON A PINE!! WAWAWA BEBEBEBE... AND YOU SAID, "OH GOD*BEEP*, YOU ARE SO IDIOTIC" BUT I KNEW YOU MEANT HANDSOME-OTIC!! YAYAYA PAPAPAA BEBEBE... WHOOOSH!!! "YOU ARE SO HANDSOME-OTIC"!!!  
  
Hikari: *laughing so hard she can't breath* Th--ann!!! HHAHA kkk!!!  
  
Rogue: *turns as red as a tomato* *beep*  
  
Kitty: *sobs* I thought he was talking about me..  
  
Lance: *pats kitty's shoulder* Hey, hey, Kitty, I can sing better, ya know  
  
Kitty: *hits his head with a pan* Like *beep* you can!!!!!  
  
Hikari: Hehe... Thank you, Daniel-  
  
Evan: IT'S EVAN!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hikari: Right, EVAN. Thanks to the audience-  
  
Audience: *snores, but there's only one person clapping-my lil' bro*  
  
Hikari: Er, thanks Wayland... *feels uneasy*  
  
Lance: Let's go home, Kitty. Stupid show's over.  
  
Kitty: *sobs* yeah.. *heads out*  
  
Lance: *glares at Hikari and throws a rotten tomato at her*  
  
Hikari: *pouts* ...and this is what I get for a show?  
  
Rogue: Yeah... Next time I'll have to go to MizzMarvel's... you *beep*ing suck!! *throws rotten tomato at Hikari*  
  
Evan: See ya, *beep*! *throws a rotten tomato at Hikari and goes off with Rogue*  
  
Hikari: *stares at the ground* I never found the floor so attractive-  
  
MizzMarvel: HIKARI!  
  
Hikari: Sorry... *pouts*  
  
Vampyre: Next interview with... MizzMarvel!! 


	3. Mizz and Kurt!

Mizz, Vamp, and Hikari present,  
  
  
  
Mizz, Vamp, and Hikari!  
  
  
  
Announcer: Tonight in beautiful and picturesque Bayville, MizzMarvel!!  
  
[MizzMarvel steps out, the audience applauds wildly and throws flowers at her feet]  
  
Mizz: Thank you, thank you. Please you're too kind! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?? PETUNIAS?! I specifically asked for roses, I can't believe -  
  
Announcer: Psst, hey Diva Star, this is live!  
  
Mizz: Oh, uh, well, today I'm interviewing an individual whom you all may know. Let's bring him out, Kurt Wagner!!  
  
[Kurt walks out and sits down]  
  
Kurt: That's Vaugner.  
  
Mizz: Hey, I believe that's MY piece of name in the title. Don't tell me what to do.  
  
Kurt: Um, sorry.  
  
Mizz: Okay, good. Now, first question - how do I look in this blouse?  
  
Kurt: Excuse me?  
  
Mizz: This blouse!  
  
Kurt: Uhhhh, good?  
  
Mizz: Great! I thought so. See, I've been dieting and -  
  
Announcer: What's wrong with you? Read the card!  
  
Mizz: Oh yeah! Okay. [reads the card] You still have a thing for Kitty?  
  
Kurt: Vhat?? No! I have a girlvriend now!  
  
Mizz: Yes, but still, c'mon. You can tell me. No one will know!  
  
Kurt: I don't! I svear!  
  
Mizz: Yes, you do. I can see it in your eyes.  
  
Kurt: Huh?  
  
Mizz: Now we have a guest you need to confess this to, Guest, come on out!  
  
[Amanda walks in.]  
  
Amanda: [shyly] Hi everyone.  
  
Mizz: Yeah, it's a pleasure. Now. You're Kurt's new girlfriend, correct?  
  
Amanda: [smiles] Yes.  
  
Mizz: Kinky little vixen then, hmmm?  
  
Amanda: What?  
  
Mizz: Question - is he truly "the fuzzy dude," even where the sun don't shine?  
  
Kurt: WHAT??  
  
Amanda: Wait, no, we haven't -  
  
Mizz: Yeah, sure. I know about kids these days. Babies having babies. Yeesh.  
  
Kurt: That doesn't make sense!  
  
Mizz: To you? Of course not; you're foreign. All right, Kurt, I believe you have something to confess to Amanda.  
  
Kurt: No, I don't.  
  
Mizz: Now, don't be difficult.  
  
Kurt: I don't!  
  
Mizz: Fine! Look Amanda, your boy's got the hots for that Pryde girl.  
  
Amanda: WHAT??  
  
Mizz: And how do you feel about that?  
  
Amanda: [starts crying]  
  
Mizz: Uh, hello? I asked you a question?  
  
Kurt: Vhy are you doing zis?? Amanda, I DON'T like Keety!  
  
Amanda: [sniff] It's not that,  
  
Kurt: It's not?  
  
Amanda: No. The thing is, *I* have the hots for Kitty! I was just using you to get closer to her!  
  
Kurt: WHAT??  
  
Mizz: Whoa! Wow, are you SERIOUS? That's much better than what you said in the interview portion before letting you on the show. Frankly, I thought you were going to be a little boring, but wow! Oh, I believe we have some questions from the audience, yes, you there.  
  
Audience Member: Yeah, my name's Brianna, did we ever get an answer to the fuzzy question?  
  
[Delighted shouts from audience.]  
  
Mizz: No, actually, we didn't. Kurt, are you?  
  
Kurt: Am I vhat? [turns back to Amanda] Now, let me get zis Straight!  
  
Mizz: He seems confused. He must be on drugs. [turns to camera] Kids, just say no. Only dopes use dope, all right? Now, another question!  
  
Audience Member: Hi, I'm Tracey. I think you look really nice in that blouse too. The color's good for you.  
  
Mizz: You do? You see, I was thinking -  
  
Announcer: Wrap it up now!!  
  
Mizz: Oh, uh, well, that's all the time we have for tonight. Tune in next time for another interview with Vampyre. Same Bat Time, same Bat Channel.  
  
Announcer: You idiot! This is an X-Men fic!  
  
Mizz: Oops? 


	4. Kurt's secrets....

WELCOME TO MIZZ-VAMP-HIKARI! With today's host, Vampyre!  
  
*Crickets chirp*  
  
Um,...anyway, let's meet Kurt Wagner, who was recently dumped by his girlfriend for his ex-crush.  
  
Vampyre: First of all, we have a surprise for you, but we'll get back to that. So, how are you doing?  
  
Kurt: Good, actually. I got to thinking that Amanda vasn't right for me. I walked around, moping over *your* story. HOW DARE YOU PUT ME AS FRANK?! I don't wear many clothes...  
  
Vampyre: That's the cue for surprise no.1. It seems that you have a secret admirer.  
  
*Gambit walks in*  
  
*Logan runs in*  
  
Both: KURT! HOW COULD YOU! I LOVED YOU!  
  
Kurt: *speechless* Um...I admit that I have the *slightest* crush on you...  
  
Audience: MAN WHORE! MAN WHORE! MAN WHORE!  
  
Logan: Look, Elf, listen...  
  
Remy: SHUT UP! You don't eve' know 'im!  
  
Kurt: I don't know you either.  
  
Remy: Beside da point!  
  
Vampyre: Um, let's bring out our next guest, Mystic!  
  
Raven: That's Mystique.  
  
Kurt: What the fuck are you doing here!?  
  
Raven: Well, it's about your father.  
  
Kurt: Wh-who- WHAT are you talking about. It's time you know...  
  
* Sabretooth walks in *  
  
Kurt, Remy, Logan, and Vampyre: @!%$!!!!  
  
Raven: We kinda had an, extra-marital affair,...  
  
Eric was very upset...  
  
Kurt: *faints*  
  
Logan: *faints*  
  
Gambit: *faints*  
  
Vampyre: *faints*  
  
Magneto, a few thousand miles away: Grrrrr, *faints*  
  
Audience: *faints*  
  
  
  
I guess this show is over since everyone is unconscious.  
  
~*~*~* ~*~*~* Vampyre ~*~*~* ~*~*~*  
  
And now, back to Hikari! 


End file.
